Worst Day #902

The humans have been doing something called "home improvement" and I don’t like it one bit. First of all what do they have to improve on; they already have the best thing anyone could hope for! A handsome chi-stiff flexing his guns on the couch. I try to stay near the window at all times so lady dogs can see me and be amazed at my manly handsomeness and neighbors can see me and be jealous. I do that as a service to the humans. So why they thought this house needed anything else I don’t know.

I awoke several days ago not the smell of pancakes cooking as I hoped but a horrible chopping sound. It’s a well known fact chi-stiffs have amazing hearing, I can in fact hear a grasshopper tap dance, so any loud noise is unbearable. It’s not that I am scared it’s just that my sensitive super hero powered ears hurt.

I ran to the window to see what the commotion was and saw 100's of "workers" that looked like this:

They were chopping down a tree, ripping the gutters off , painting and most likely getting ready to eat brains or worse nuggets meant for me.

I alerted the humans to the presence of this zombie worker horde as soon I could. But it became quickly apparent that like bunnies these monsters possessed shape shifting powers. The humans assured me it was just 5 nice guys out working on the house, helping them clean it up. In my desperation I even roused the snorty one in hopes he could help me defend the house, he got up and immediately began barking at the wall. Sigh.

Once again it was left to brave Shippo to defend the house for a whole weekend. I was on high alert every day. Did I get a medal? No of course not. A parade to celebrate my bravery? HA! Did I even get a nugget? Are you kidding! No what I got was squirted with water and told to stop barking. Worst. Day. Ever.

Silenced. For now.



Worst Day # 11




This blog took me a long time to write. I have been very confused. Something strange happened to me and I don't like it. You see I felt emotions, and not the normal ones I feel hate, and despair for myself, but sadness for someone else. And not just anyone else but my nemesis the stinky one.

It all started about a month or so ago, the humans left with only the beagle. I assumed to take her on a tour of a nugget factory or something else I would love, simply because I was left at home as usual. They later returned without her, I didn't notice at the time but I guess they were upset, I was upset at the lack of nuggets they returned with and weak with hunger as they were gone for hours. As the day went on and she still didn't return I could only assume that she was at some kind of an awesome overnight camp, probably having nuggets and ice cream.  So I did what I would normally do in that situation and made sure to lay in all of her favorite spots covering them with my man musk, touch all her things and refused to eat my kibbles on principle.

As the days passed by I began to notice a few things. 1) The stinky one was not returning. 2) The humans were upset and for some reason this upset me. 3) I was upset, why was I upset my enemy was gone?!

Where are you beagle?

                                                               

The stinky one still has not returned. It has been over a month and there is no sign of her. In this time I have felt emotions, and I don't like it. I seem to miss her despite my best intentions to hate her. Apparently it is possible to love thy enemy. I realize nugget camp shouldn't last this long and I fear the worst. I suspect the orange assassin and the snorty one. The humans seem distraught, and make strange noises and begin to leak at the mention of her, this I feel is also a bad sign.

With the stink beagle being gone I am left on with that imbecile the snorty one, hes hardly a worthy adversary. He often barks at the wall for no reason and gets stuck under blankets. The beagle: now there was an enemy you could really be proud of. She always stole my bones, destroyed my things and took my spot on the bed. I was easily able to outsmart the ewok and take his bone today, its hardly even fun anymore. I.miss.the.beagle.Worst.Day.Ever.

RIP Sookie Aka "The Stinky One" & "The Beagle"
We miss you.
Even Shippo.