Worst Day #10000000

Long time no blog, I know. You must be thinking I have been having the Best.Day.Ever. well you would almost be right. You see for awhile I was. My amazing voodoo skills finally worked and the beagle was sick! It was all I could do to contain my bliss at the thought of life without the stinky one, well I learned what you wish for isn't always what you want.

You see once the smelly one got sick everyone only loved her more! She got ALL the attention, ALL the toys and worst of all, ALL THE NOMS! No matter how cute and sad I looked the round one only worried about stupid beagle. I thought perhaps if I had a tiny injury or sickness myself I might get some of those nuggets. So I "fell" off the couch "injuring" my knee. All that did was get me put on a diet, a DIET! The stinky one gets kisses and ice cream, I get reduced calorie food and cage confinement. No justice, none. So I have stopped my death dance and even I am pulling for the beagle now. Sigh. Cant catch a break.

                                                        I howl: Worst. Day. Ever.

Worst Day #31

Here are three reasons why I hate howl-o-ween:

Reason 1: First Mate No Pants, oh the humiliation!

Reason Number 2: Sigh a pig costume, really...

Reason #3: Shippo Godzilla wants to smash!!!

And as if these three reasons weren't enough, dogs don't get chocolate so no howl-o-ween noms for me! Oh and do you see pictures of the stinky one, no you don't just me.... Worst. Day. Ever.

Worst Day #989

 I thought the list of things I hated couldn't get any longer..... I was wrong. While I was "vacation" I discovered this new nemesis:

A pool table. Who invented this torture! This "game" is awful. I am certain those sticks are to skewer me and the sound of those rocks banging together made me want to howl. So I did. A lot. The humans took great pleasure in this "game" and the stinky one of course seemed oblivious. I bravely hid in the closet, since of course no one cared about my pain. This was almost worse than camping with all that wood chopping, fire, and rain. Sigh, I can never catch a break.

                                                         Worst. Day. Ever.

Worst Day #97

That's me in the car on the way to our "vacation" not what I suggested, which was a trip to the Ben and Jerry's to suggest nugget ice cream in person and while I am there sample a few hundred flavors of ice cream, but no instead I am here in Tennessee with the stinky one "relaxing" we have been forced to hike and cuddle on the couch for days now I don't know how much more I can take. Send nuggets, I am not sure the address we are somewhere beyond civilization, just send nuggets I will find them. Worst. Day. Ever.

Worst Day #997

Its finally happened. One of my worst nightmares. Not my worst worst nightmare that involves a world wide nugget shortage but one that's close.... the bunnies have broken through the sanctity of the fence. Using their tiny devious babies they are able to fit through the openings in the fence and infiltrate my bathroom. What they have in mind I cant begin to fathom, I can only hope it involves eating the beagle first.

Yesterday I walked outside to this:

I bravely guarded the porch (not hid behind the grill as some might say) while the stinky one stupidly chased the beast around the yard, again fooled by the bunnies shape shifting ability, even as a baby its remarkable.  Eventually the round human was roused by my brave distress calls, and only laughed at how cute the bunny was.

As always the burden of being brave falls on me Shippo, I only hope my muscular manly shoulders can bear the weight alone. Some pizza or ice cream would probably help and also a nugget and maybe  a smooch, oh and don't turn of the light just in case a bunny sneaks in so I can um see it right away. Worst. Day. Ever.

Worst Day #70000000

Today was almost the Best. Day. Ever. Almost. Not quite. But almost.

When we returned from our daily walk, or as I like to call it hook Shippo to the torture lead and drag him around the neighborhood, we were waiting for the round human to shut the gate (I know it should be simple) and the stinky one took to digging under the fence. I angel that I am, did not partipate in this heinous act, even I know the safety the fence represents, it keeps the bunnies out! Once the round human finally managed to shut the gate, she came over to find the beast half way to china.

I would like to tell you as punishment she banished the stinky one for all time or put her in a rocket to the moon, something reasonable like that. But no she simply yelled at her to stop and denied her a treat when we came inside. Heres the best part though... I got a treat!!!! Thats right for once I came out on top!!! I know the fearsome creatures that could get in so I respect the fence and was rewarded!! As I said it was a almost the best. day. ever. The stinky one is so stupid I cant imagine this will be the last time digging, fingers crossed for that rocket to the moon.

Eventually the round human cracked and gave the drooling idiot a treat but not without giving me another half. Only half. I'm the good one! Worst. Day. Ever.

Worst Day #118

                        This ones for you ladies, please follow instructions!

Actually anyone would be great, can a chi-stiff get a smooch here? No probably not, they all go to the stinky one or that horrible orange beast behind me. Worst. Day. Ever.