Worst Day # 682

Today was the worst. WORST. day.ever. I mean it really was one indignity after the other. It all started when I was thrown into the car early in morning, before I had my morning nap even, and forced to sit next to the stinky one for what seemed to be an eternity. At first I was hopeful thinking early morning nugget run? But my hopes were crushed, like my spirit when we arrived at the VET CLINIC. I am oh so lucky*sarcasm* that the round human works there. So instead of an appointment that's over quickly, I have to wait all day for my torture while she works, trapped in a cage next to the beagle!

When my time finally came for my exam, I assumed it would consist mostly of the Doctor remarking how handsome I am, how she had never seen a finer canine specimen and perhaps a treat. Boy was I wrong. I was given vaccines with the worlds biggest needles, I am certain they were two times bigger than those used on the stinky one. Then my precious blood was stolen from my veins, no doubt for black market sale. Its a well known fact chi-stiff blood holds powerful magic. Then instead of being asked the question "Po have you been working out?" like I expected I was told I needed to lose a few pounds! What I am practically starving as it is!!! The Doctor commented perhaps I should lay off the nuggets, lay off the nuggets? As if I ever get any nuggets!

As if all of these atrocities weren't enough the round human gave me a bath! A bath erasing my natural man musk! What lady dog will want me now? All shiny and clean smelling? I was so upset I couldn't even take pleasure in watching the stinky one get a bath too. FYI she still stinks and on the ride back home I was trapped next to her and her horrid wet beagle stench.

Did I arrive home to hero's parade? A nugget? Some ice cream perhaps. No I was given a reduced calorie biscuit and left alone. I tried to have a restful nap and forget my troubles but I kept having nightmares. In each nightmare they took my temperature over and over, I wont even tell you where...Worst. Day. Ever.

Worst Day #9

I have a love-hate relationship with spring.

I love when it warms up, Shippo's are creatures of the sun! I love to lay out in the yard sun my glorious belly and show off my guns for any lady dogs that happens by. I hate when tiny sticky humans come near my fence, but I love scaring them away with my super manly ferocious bark!

Sadly one of my favored enemies is rain. April showers bring an unhappy Shippo.  The humans seem to delight in torturing me and forcing me outside when it rains, the cats pee inside why cant I? I also really really hate thunderstorms. Not because I am afraid of them but because my stripey bear is.

This picture makes me look like I was hiding from the storm, which I wasn't I was protecting my stripey he was afraid and hid under the pillows.  Certainly I wasn't scared. I was just being manly and comforting a friend. I'm not afraid of anything...

Instead of staying sunny all day so I can work on my tan, I hear storms are coming. Lady dogs everywhere suffer because my six pack wont be out in the sun, it will be under the blanket hid...er protecting my bff. Worst. Day. Ever.

Worst Day #10000000

Long time no blog, I know. You must be thinking I have been having the Best.Day.Ever. well you would almost be right. You see for awhile I was. My amazing voodoo skills finally worked and the beagle was sick! It was all I could do to contain my bliss at the thought of life without the stinky one, well I learned what you wish for isn't always what you want.

You see once the smelly one got sick everyone only loved her more! She got ALL the attention, ALL the toys and worst of all, ALL THE NOMS! No matter how cute and sad I looked the round one only worried about stupid beagle. I thought perhaps if I had a tiny injury or sickness myself I might get some of those nuggets. So I "fell" off the couch "injuring" my knee. All that did was get me put on a diet, a DIET! The stinky one gets kisses and ice cream, I get reduced calorie food and cage confinement. No justice, none. So I have stopped my death dance and even I am pulling for the beagle now. Sigh. Cant catch a break.

                                                        I howl: Worst. Day. Ever.

Worst Day #31

Here are three reasons why I hate howl-o-ween:

Reason 1: First Mate No Pants, oh the humiliation!

Reason Number 2: Sigh a pig costume, really...

Reason #3: Shippo Godzilla wants to smash!!!

And as if these three reasons weren't enough, dogs don't get chocolate so no howl-o-ween noms for me! Oh and do you see pictures of the stinky one, no you don't just me.... Worst. Day. Ever.

Worst Day #989

 I thought the list of things I hated couldn't get any longer..... I was wrong. While I was "vacation" I discovered this new nemesis:

A pool table. Who invented this torture! This "game" is awful. I am certain those sticks are to skewer me and the sound of those rocks banging together made me want to howl. So I did. A lot. The humans took great pleasure in this "game" and the stinky one of course seemed oblivious. I bravely hid in the closet, since of course no one cared about my pain. This was almost worse than camping with all that wood chopping, fire, and rain. Sigh, I can never catch a break.

                                                         Worst. Day. Ever.

Worst Day #97

That's me in the car on the way to our "vacation" not what I suggested, which was a trip to the Ben and Jerry's to suggest nugget ice cream in person and while I am there sample a few hundred flavors of ice cream, but no instead I am here in Tennessee with the stinky one "relaxing" we have been forced to hike and cuddle on the couch for days now I don't know how much more I can take. Send nuggets, I am not sure the address we are somewhere beyond civilization, just send nuggets I will find them. Worst. Day. Ever.

Worst Day #997

Its finally happened. One of my worst nightmares. Not my worst worst nightmare that involves a world wide nugget shortage but one that's close.... the bunnies have broken through the sanctity of the fence. Using their tiny devious babies they are able to fit through the openings in the fence and infiltrate my bathroom. What they have in mind I cant begin to fathom, I can only hope it involves eating the beagle first.

Yesterday I walked outside to this:

I bravely guarded the porch (not hid behind the grill as some might say) while the stinky one stupidly chased the beast around the yard, again fooled by the bunnies shape shifting ability, even as a baby its remarkable.  Eventually the round human was roused by my brave distress calls, and only laughed at how cute the bunny was.

As always the burden of being brave falls on me Shippo, I only hope my muscular manly shoulders can bear the weight alone. Some pizza or ice cream would probably help and also a nugget and maybe  a smooch, oh and don't turn of the light just in case a bunny sneaks in so I can um see it right away. Worst. Day. Ever.