Worst Day #365

I had to get online to tell the whole internets about the dark day that happened this weekend, the one year anniversary of the stinky one ruining my already awful life. Its been one year since my life went from bad to the worst. RIP happy Shippo. Please send baskets of noms and stripey bears to help through this difficult time to Shippo Bad 123 Worst Day Ever Road Hagerstown MD (no I don't no my address I am dog for crying out loud, its amazing I can type so well!)  I spent the weekend in mourning, reflecting on happier times and planning the demise of the beagle. Unfortunately planning her demise got in the way of my busy nap schedule so it will have to wait, maybe on her two year anniversary. But I am still feeling pretty depressed so like I said a basket of noms would really help me through this rough patch, chicken nuggets would make me have the best.day.ever. so I know nobody will send them. *sigh*Worst. Day. Ever.

Worst Day #419

Its hard for me to type, I am still shaking from the trauma of what happened to me yesterday. I am not even sure if I can talk about it, but I suppose I can try. I was forced to...take....a....a.....BATH!!!! And it was as I am sure you can guess: the worst. Baths up are up on the list of things I hate most with beagles and bicycles. The round human even washed me with *shudder* baby shampoo, washing away my natural and wonderful manly smell. As if making me smell fresh wasn't bad enough she trimmed my nails, great how how will I tap dance? Get tiny tap shoes? I think not! I depended on those nails when I was showing off my sweet moves.

I thought things couldn't get any worse but as always, I was wrong, the Stinky one (even after the bath shes still foul) touched my Stripey Bear. An immediate bath was needed for him, but when I actually wanted one the round human was of course no where to be found. Probably off somewhere plotting the next way to torture me. So in my sopping wet despair I grabbed my Skunkie and told him of my sorrows but it wasn't the same as Stripey. A pizza would have helped, but all I got was dry brown cereal at the end the day making it truly the Worst. Day. Ever.

Worst Day #39

I am a very humble, super handsome, amazing, ladies man, and I don't ask for much besides a bed made of bacon, a daily back massage, my own phone line (for the ladies) and removal of the stinky one. And
maybe a website dedicated to me and my awesomeness, you know simple things. Do I get them no of course not my life is the worst, I protest these injustices everyday day in and day out. My protests go unheard, probably because I am weak with hunger, what does a dog have to do to get some better noms around here? Dry cereal day in and day out, nobody loves me! I mean look at this:

Ew! What I would like would be something simple like a pot of beef strew or a roasted turkey with all the trimmings, the things a chi-stiff like me deserves! And what do the humans eat! Well lets compare a picture of their dinner with mine:

Yeah that's right that's a pizza, with delicious, melty cheese, in case you were wondering; yes I love pizza, and no I don't get more than one tiny bite of crust and that's only if I can wrestle it away from the disgusting, drooling jaws of the beagle!

 Seriously look at this mug, adorable!  I think I need to start a Feed the Shippo campaign, who can resist this face!!

Apparently everyone, even the pizza guy, sigh, Worst. Day. Ever.