Worst Day #72

I thought there was nothing worse than a beagle. But I was wrong, I was so very wrong. Because along came the snorty one, the unholy love child of an ewok, a platypus and a pug and hes ruining my life, as if it could get anymore ruined!

First off he keeps touching my things, MY THINGS! He chewed the ears off my fox and my stripey bear had to be rescued and put into witness protection. Now stripey's changed his name and I cant find him.
I miss my bff!

Also now the noms are split three ways. It was bad enough when they were split between me and the stinky one but now the chunky one is stealing all my delicious treats. As if those things werent bad enough, he also stole my spot on the bed! I sleep next to the bald human, its not that I like the bald human so much its just that's my spot and my human , these are things I own not the puggy one and I don't appreciate this interloper.

I spend most of my days weeping now, for when things were simple and it was just the beagle and I. Here is the last photo known of stripey and I, if you see him on the street don't say hi, I fear for his life! A photo from happier days, please send nuggets or a highly trained assassin. Worst. Day. Ever.

Worst Day #3

Whhhhhyyyyyyy????!??!?!?!??!??!

This weekend was the worst, worst, worst, worst, worst day ever!!!!!! Why? Because another dog has been adopted! What!? I know that’s what I said!! Look at his goofy mug, pug mix that’s worse than a beagle! Which FYI when did I ever say I didn’t love the beagle? She’s the greatest! Compared to this new beast she’s my bff! Let me list the reasons I hate this new snorting interloper.


1) He snorts, really lame!

2) He never barks, um all dogs like the sound of their voice, clearly he’s really some kind of small bear, platypus or ewok perhaps a mix of all 3 somehow.

3) He has a bigger under bite than me, an under bite was my thing and trust me he doesn’t look handsome with his.

4) His name is Maximus Chunk, really! My name is Captain Stuntman Shippo Alowishus Badorrek the 4th, yeah beat that Chunk!

5) He touches my stuff and tries to get me to play, I don’t play I sit on the couch and look cool in case any ladies happen by.

Ugh look at that goofy, snorty grin!

Sigh, it really is just terrible. He and the beagle are like super friends; obviously neither of them has much brain power. Ok I admit once or twice I may have complained about the stinky one, and true she is sick and it’s nice to give her what she wants (I guess grumble) but really a snorty one? Ugh it’s the Worst. Day. Ever!

Worst Day #19

Vicki Wenderlich's June Wall Paper Featuring Me!

I'm famous! I have been used as a muse in my  Aunt Vicki's latest graphic design project. And if I do say so myself she couldn't have gotten a more handsome specimen, look at me, ladies swoon at the sight of me! And I suppose her art is pretty good too. I feel like she really captured my rugged manly chi-stiff good looks. Especially my pearly white chops, people tremble at the sight of those shark jaws!  I was only a little upset that she didn't include a list of things I hate on her website, in case people want to send gifts after seeing me, which I assume they will.

You would think I might get some attention from the round human and the bald human, after all I am now immortalized in art and obviously soon to be rich and famous. But no nothing, not even some extra green beans at dinner. I didn't even bother to hope for a nugget. Even though soon I will be more famous than the statue of David, I get no love around here! I am sure if it was the Beagle who was made into art there would have been a parade. Perhaps I should become the next Taco Bell dog I hear they are looking or maybe the Mc Donald's spokesdog. At least then I would get some nuggets! Worst. Day. Ever.