Today was the worst. WORST. day.ever. I mean it really was one indignity after the other. It all started when I was thrown into the car early in morning, before I had my morning nap even, and forced to sit next to the stinky one for what seemed to be an eternity. At first I was hopeful thinking early morning nugget run? But my hopes were crushed, like my spirit when we arrived at the VET CLINIC. I am oh so lucky*sarcasm* that the round human works there. So instead of an appointment that's over quickly, I have to wait all day for my torture while she works, trapped in a cage next to the beagle!
When my time finally came for my exam, I assumed it would consist mostly of the Doctor remarking how handsome I am, how she had never seen a finer canine specimen and perhaps a treat. Boy was I wrong. I was given vaccines with the worlds biggest needles, I am certain they were two times bigger than those used on the stinky one. Then my precious blood was stolen from my veins, no doubt for black market sale. Its a well known fact chi-stiff blood holds powerful magic. Then instead of being asked the question "Po have you been working out?" like I expected I was told I needed to lose a few pounds! What I am practically starving as it is!!! The Doctor commented perhaps I should lay off the nuggets, lay off the nuggets? As if I ever get any nuggets!
As if all of these atrocities weren't enough the round human gave me a bath! A bath erasing my natural man musk! What lady dog will want me now? All shiny and clean smelling? I was so upset I couldn't even take pleasure in watching the stinky one get a bath too. FYI she still stinks and on the ride back home I was trapped next to her and her horrid wet beagle stench.
Did I arrive home to hero's parade? A nugget? Some ice cream perhaps. No I was given a reduced calorie biscuit and left alone. I tried to have a restful nap and forget my troubles but I kept having nightmares. In each nightmare they took my temperature over and over, I wont even tell you where...Worst. Day. Ever.
